


A Mother's Wish

by MarmeLady_Orange



Series: THE INTERVENTION [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Could be emotional, Could be sad, Could be whatever you want it to be, Could even be ridiculous, Fanfiction in the fanfiction, M/M, POV First Person, People like to interrupt the storyteller, Series Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-04
Updated: 2014-02-04
Packaged: 2018-01-11 02:52:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1167777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarmeLady_Orange/pseuds/MarmeLady_Orange
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>God wants Dean and Castiel to finally get together. He has enlisted some of their friends (and non-friends) to find a way to make that happen.</p><p>Mary Winchester loves her sons. And now Dean needs her. He doesn’t need a fictional adventure. What he truly needs is his mother to just take care of him for an evening and make him understand how loved he deserves to be.</p><p>*****</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Mother's Wish

**Author's Note:**

> Might make more sense to read part 1 first, if you haven't already... The style might be confusing otherwise.
> 
> *
> 
> I guess have this romantic notion of what a mother could/should be. It's anything but sane but I think it can work when trying to identify with how a toddler would look up to his mom. As for the "adult" part of that, well… there's only so much I can do. Let's call it fiction then, shall we?
> 
> I hadn't done a first person POV yet, but I think it really worked well for Mary's story. And then I went with the future form, mostly. I am very sorry if it makes it hard to read. I hope not, but it might…
> 
> **

 

_\-------------------------------------------------------_

_MARY: I have to tell you, I couldn’t find a way to write fiction about my own son. Somehow, it doesn’t feel right to try and trick him into a fake situation so he’d tell Castiel he loves him._

_SAM: Mom…_

_MARY: Let me say this, sweetie… What I mean is, I understand what we were asked to do, and I can’t blame any of you for doing it. But I think that as his mother, I might have a slight advantage. And I have to admit that I did a somewhat selfish thing as I wrote myself back in his life._

_ELLEN: If this goes where I think this is going, I would have done the very same thing._

_JODY: Same here, I’m sure._

_JIMMY: As would I…_

_MARY: I think that as parents, you would understand, yes. So there goes nothing…_

_\-------------------------------------------------------_

 

Being requested by God Himself to try and find a way for my eldest son to accept Castiel romantically is no small task. I was to think of some kind of plot that would make the perfect amourous setting, but I just couldn’t do it. All I could think of was that what we wrote had a chance of happening.

So I decided that my story would not be one of trickeries, danger or forced proximity. I think that the boys do not need to be faced with their impending death to admit they love each other. I know I haven’t been around very long and that Dean, as well as Sam, have had many traumatic experiences. I know they have lost many loved ones over the years.

But I have been keeping an eye on my boys and Dean, not to say he had it harder, but he always did carry an immense weight on his shoulder. Most of it put upon him by his own father, and my dear boy accepted it without questions. He’s always had the biggest heart and he needs to believe that he deserves as much love as he’s ever given.

I honestly think that, as his mother, I am one of the few people who might be able to make him understand. Since he was only 4 when I died, he still has me in high regards. I know how this sounds, and if I had lived I’m sure I would have screwed up at some point, like any parent does. But right now, I have this advantage and I think I should use it.

It’s not a story really, it’s only me telling you about coming back long enough to prepare a nice dinner for my son and talk to him. Make him understand that he deserves love. And make him realise and accept that the one he loves is right there, only waiting for him to make his move.

So, when I get sent to the bunker, nobody will be there.

 

_\---------------------------------------------_

_SAM: Mom?_

_MARY: Yes?_

_SAM: I take it that I’m not invited to that dinner._

_MARY: Sammy…_

_SAM: No, no, I get it, that’s ok, but… You think I could be there and help you prepare the food? In your story?_

_MARY: Of course, baby!_

_\---------------------------------------------_

 

When I get sent to the bunker, only Sam will be there. Everything we'd need to prepare a feast would already be there so there’d be no need to go out and buy groceries. We'll start with the barbecue chicken, which would need to marinate before we could even think about cooking it. Then I'd put Sam on the task of peeling the apples while I start on the dough. Of course my boy will be getting his pie.

The afternoon would go quickly. After he’d be done with the apples (dousing them with lemon juice), Sam would start peeling the potatoes for what was once my famous cheese and garlic mashed potatoes. We'll do great work together, Sam and I. He'll chop and I'll cook. This is something neither of us has ever experienced and I’d be very glad to do this at least once.

 

_\---------------------------------------------_

_JODY: Dammit…_

_ELLEN: I know…_

_JO: … yeah..._

_GABRIEL: Sammy-boy’s gonna lose it._

_CHARLIE: Have a heart, would you? It’s his MOM!_

_GABRIEL: I know, and I do… I find it all very endearing._

_SAM: Shut up all of you… let my mom read!_

_MARY: Well… adding you in made me improvise a bit, but soon I’ll have to kick you out and really read._

_SAM: That’s fine. I get to spend that time with you!_

_\---------------------------------------------_

 

While the pie will be browning in the oven, I’ll be cooking the onions and bacon for the green peas. I know Dean’s not a fan of anything green, never been, but he used to love my fried peas. When the pie’s done, I'll take it out and let it cool on the counter. Then, we'll only need to boil up the potatoes for the mash and smother the chicken pieces in my own barbecue sauce before sending them in the oven.

The whole bunker would smell heavenly, and I know what that should smell like. Knowing Dean would be there soon, I'll take Sam in my arms and hug him as hard and for as long as I can. I feel like eternity would never be enough to make up for lost times, but at that moment, I'll just want to have whatever I can take.

After Sam would be gone, I'd stay in the kitchen, waiting for my other boy to come in. Somehow, I'll be very nervous. Maybe because for him, it will be a total surprise to see me there. He will probably not believe it’s really me at first. I will get holy water thrown at me, get cut with a silver blade, I might even have to endure some other ritual I don’t know about.

But when Dean will finally come in, he’ll probably be running, calling out to me. I’m thinking Sam will have waited for his brother to tell him that I was there and real. Then I'd see him, my boy, rushing in the kitchen and hardly pausing before coming to take me in his arms. Because that’s what he does. He hugs. Whatever he might say about it, he’s a hugger. That, he takes after me.

 

_\---------------------------------------------_

_SAM: I remember the shirt!_

_MARY: The shirt?_

_SAM: That shirt Dean had as a kid that said “I Wuv Hugs!”._

_MARY: Oh yeah! Wait… How?_

_SAM: Well, when we died that one time, we were in Dean’s heaven. You were there and Dean was wearing the shirt. It was pretty funny actually._

_MARY: You boys gotta stop doing that already._

_SAM: What?_

_EVERYONE: DIE!_

_CROWLEY: Or at least stay bloody dead, would you?_

_\---------------------------------------------_

 

It’ll feel like Dean would never let go, as if everything he’s been going through in the last years would be seeping through him. He’d be letting himself be the little boy he stopped being so long ago. I’ll feel like saying stupid little things like _“shhh, mama’s right here.”_ but I’ll be afraid it might spook him. So I’ll wait and just hug him back like I did his brother before.

Then he’ll be grown-up Dean again, but not entirely. I feel weird saying this, but I know how I would feel if I were to be in front of my own mother right now. I’d revert back to the little Mary in pigtails I once was. And even going back to being adult Mary, I’d still be in a child-like awe of her.

My boy was 4 when I left him, I know he sees me like this perfect person. His father didn’t help in that matter, mind you. His father… Even though I love him, I know he is greatly responsible for us being here today. I don’t mean dead, that’s mostly on me, but how Dean can’t see himself to be worthy of anything, and then having feelings for a man on top of that? Dean was never prepared for this.

So back to Dean, where he'll be a grown-up again, but staring at me like when he was a kid. His stare curious, happy and loving. There’ll also be an underlying hunter stare in there, an unsaid _“What the hell are you doing here?”_ , but he won’t let it temper with his joy.

He’ll be beyond ecstatic when he’ll see what I’ve (we’ve) prepared for him. Food he had dreamed of so often but never tasted again. I do admit I’ll be nervous, what if this doesn’t meet his expectations. But, since it’d be a surprise, there shouldn’t be any expectations now, should it?

He’ll eat heartily, smiling, shoving peas and potatoes and chicken in his mouth as if they were to disappear in the next minute. The mother in me would feel like she should reprimand him on his table manners, but I just won’t. I’m not going to try and educate my 35 year-old son while on a once in a lifetime visit.

 

_\---------------------------------------------_

_SAM: Yeah, don’t waste your time anyways. I tried!_

_ELLEN: We ALL did!_

_\---------------------------------------------_

 

He’ll get two full servings of everything, even though I’m sure he wouldn't be _that_ hungry. Again, I won’t say anything, I’ll let him have whatever he wants and just enjoy the sight of him. Of course we’ll talk, about him mostly because being dead and all, I won’t have much to say for myself. I’ll only be waiting for him to mention his angel before I tell him what it is I really want to say.

But he’ll be taking his time. He’ll ask about his father and will be satisfied to know that he’s been in heaven for some time now. He won’t care about the specifics, just like I didn’t. We’ll just both be happy he’s not in hell anymore. He’ll tell me a little of his own time in hell and this is probably when he’ll finally mention Castiel.

I’ll want to ask so many questions, but I’ll wait. I’ll listen instead, very interested to see what he’ll tell his mother about the angel. And what I’ll hear will make me happy, I’m certain of it. Because I know pretty much everything already. Well, the outlines mostly, but I still know. I know about the hardships, the dying, becoming God, the Leviathans, the trials. But Dean will never say anything explicitly negative, I'm sure. All I’ll get to know is that Castiel’s been fighting alongside them and, even after a couple of falling outs, he’s as much family to him as Sammy ever was.

And there’ll be the opening I had been waiting for. Because it’s not only what he’d say, it’s what would show up in his eyes when he would. Something he’d probably not even be aware is there. But I’ll see it, like I had seen it in John's eyes when he'd look at me. There’ll be love in there, I don’t even doubt it anymore. All I’ll need to do then is make him listen to me. And I’ll have the perfect bribe… a fresh from the oven apple and cinnamon pie.

His eyes will light up and I wouldn’t be surprised to see drool seep in the corners of his mouth. Pavlov has nothing on me with his dogs, not when I have Dean and fresh homemade pie. But, even eager for his dessert, I’m sure I’ll see a bit of fear in his eyes. I just don’t know yet if it’ll be from the possibility of losing pie or because of the impending mom talk.

 

_\---------------------------------------------_

_CHARLIE: I’d say both!_

_SAM: I agree!_

_JO: Mom talk is always scary._

_ELLEN: Well if kids behaved, they wouldn’t be so scared of mommy!_

_JO: Well, kids should be able to do…_

_SAM: You guys are doing this now? Really?_

_CROWLEY: My money’s on the mum!_

_\---------------------------------------------_

 

I have wrote what I want to say to him, so his eyes will widen in terror when I'll take out yellow note sheets from my pocket and unfold them. I'll reassure him, saying that I needed to make sure I didn’t forget anything I'd want to say to him. It probably wouldn't help, so I'd just jump in and start reading my letter to him.

 

**“My dearest Dean,**

**Let me start by saying that I wasn’t sent here to fatten you up with childhood memories or give you something you couldn’t hold on to, despite the fact that it kind of looks like it. I won’t be able to stay here with you and your brother even though it would give me great pleasure. Instead, I’m using this opportunity to be a mom to you, as much as I can be in such a short time. I fed you, I listened to you, but there are things I now need to share with you.**

**First, about myself. Even though I am at peace now, I do know that me making a deal with a demon before you boys were ever born has made your lives a living hell. Quite literally. I know about destiny, fate and all that stuff, and apparently it would have happened anyways. But even if I was given the chance to go back, I'd still save your father and have you both. Those, I can't regret, ever. My true wish would be to have stayed away from the nursery that night so I could love and care for my boys while they were growing up. And when came the time, I would have gladly fought at your side.**

**Second, about your father. Again, I am at peace, and I love him. But I know how his pain has wronged you boys. And you Dean, you should not have had to be a man at such a young age. It wasn’t your job to take care of your brother. Your job should have been to play with him, chuck food at each other, being silly and running around, even getting in fist fights. You should have been a little boy, not a little man. Or worse, a little mother. This responsibility should not have been, and still should not be, yours.**

**Your father, you know he was a marine and he had a strict upbringing in an american household where different wasn’t welcome. Not even sure he would have married me if he had known about my family being hunters. His views of the world are very narrow, even with everything he’s seen over the years, is what I’m trying to say. And yours don’t have to be. Actually, I know they aren’t. You have that friend of yours, Charlie. I’m certain you don’t care who she sleeps with.**

 

_\---------------------------------------------_

_CROWLEY: Or maybe he does…_

_CHARLIE: Don’t be gross! And, wow? I’m in your story?_

_MARY: I think you’re pretty important to him._

_SAM: He said so himself… you’re the little sister he never knew he wanted. We wanted…_

_CHARLIE: Oooh…_

_CROWLEY: Thought he had one already!_

_CHARLIE: We’re having a moment, so zip it!_

_GABRIEL: I think Crowley’s feeling things and he hates it._

_CROWLEY: Am certainly not!_

_GABRIEL: Thinkin’ ‘bout your mommy, are ya?_

_CROWLEY: Bugger off, feathers!_

_\---------------------------------------------_

 

**And you know what? I’m pretty sure nobody you care about minds either. Or who YOU sleep with, for that matter. But I’ll get to that, because I don’t think that’s so much of an issue anyway.**

 

_\---------------------------------------------_

_MARY: I’m pretty sure at that moment he’ll be pretty uncomfortable. But I don’t think he’ll say anything… after all, there’s pie at the end of my speech._

_\---------------------------------------------_

 

**Third, about your brother. I know you love him, and I am so glad that you do. I know you’ve kind of been programmed to care for him, but I think you would have done it anyways. Just not this intently maybe. But now’s the time to let it go baby, it’s killing you both. It’s preventing you to care about yourself. And I know you think you don’t matter, but nothing could be further from the truth. Your brother is a strong and intelligent man, as you are, and if you can care for yourself, he can very much do the same. One of you will die someday, and the other will have to deal with that. So just stop tampering with your own lives to try and prevent it.**

 

_\---------------------------------------------_

_SAM: Why would you make this about me? It’s about him and Cas, not me…_

_MARY: But it is Sam… you yourself wrote it in your own story._

_SAM: Yeah, MY story,  but he might not be receptive if you…_

_MARY: Baby, I know I haven’t been a mother for long, and you probably know your brother better than I do, but those are still things I’d need to say to him. Because I think they're true. I want both my boys to be happy._

_SAM: Yeah, ok, sorry mom!_

_MARY: Don’t be, I get it…_

_CHARLIE: I miss my mom…_

_JO: You can have mine while we’re here…_

_ELLEN: Come here Charlie, let me give you a big motherly hug!_

_\-------------------------------------------_

 

**Fourth, about your own stubborn self. You are worth every bit of love you’ve ever given, I so wish you’d believe it. You are loved, by so many people, and don’t try to say that you don’t deserve it. You haven’t failed me, you haven’t failed your father, you haven’t failed your brother. The only person you’re failing right now is yourself. Yes, some people you tried to save died. Some people who helped you died.That’s sadly the life of a hunter. As for the civilians that died, well that is going to happen whether you’re there or not. Just realise that you saved a whole lot of them. You just can't take responsibility for every single person on this planet.**

**Fifth, about Castiel. Before you even say it, you’re right, I don’t know him. But I know you. I’ve observed and heard about the two of you. You are right to say he’s your best friend, but I hope you also know he’s more than that. You have to stop denying yourself whatever makes you happy. You need to understand that having love in your life will not make Sam less important. Maybe he’ll finally feel like he has the right to love again without feeling like he’s abandoning you. And, you can’t say that you don’t deserve Castiel as he is, or was, an Angel of the Lord. He fell, he died, he rebelled, and it was all for you. Not you as in “humanity” but you as in “Dean Winchester”. He has already chosen you, he's only waiting for you.**

**Yes, I know more than I let on but only because I wanted to see your face when you’d talk about him. And what I saw made me read you this letter.**

**I’m sorry if this is so long, but his his 30 years in the making for me, almost 31 now. I’d have so much more to say, and I wish I could have eased you into it instead of tossing everything at once, but time is of the essence. You’re a hunter, who knows what’ll happen tomorrow? Just grab what makes you happy and cling to it, enjoy it, savour it. And let your brother do the same. Your happy ending’s right there with you, baby. Don’t let it go.**

**You mother who loves you,**

**Mary”**

 

I imagine my words to him could go many ways. But I’m hoping he will understand exactly what I’m trying to tell him. If I had it my way, at that very moment, he’d hug and kiss me. Maybe the hug would be a long one, as he would need to ponder everything I’d just told him. Maybe he’d try to refute what I’d been telling him but I wouldn’t let him do it.

At some point, he’d just leave the kitchen and ask me to wait for him to come back. Because Castiel would have been somewhere in the bunker, in his own room I imagine, waiting for the visitor to have left. And Dean would go to him. He’d knock on his door, get in the room and talk to him. He’d tell him about me, what I’d said and finally take those first steps towards him. And he’d want to know if he loved him.

And of course, Castiel would say yes. And they would kiss and hug and maybe cry a little. I know I would. And then, Dean would bring his angel back in the kitchen so we could be properly introduced. In my fantasy, Dean proudly says that Castiel’s his boyfriend, even though they basically just got together. But neither of them would seem to mind, and I wouldn’t either. Both would look happy, eyes shining with the love they wouldn’t have to hide anymore.

Then we’d have pie, and maybe coffee or tea, and I’d learn a little bit more about the angel in my son’s life. Sam would come back to have some pie with us and we’d spend the rest of the evening as if it was a normal occurrence. But then would come the time for me to say goodbye. I know we’ll cry, and hug, and kiss, and make promises. I’ll take the time to commit to memory how my boys smell and how they feel in my arms. To get new memories in heaven are, literally, a gift from God.

And then I’ll be gone… and besides left-overs and a crumpled yellow letter, I wish I will have left them with enough hope and love to last until we’re all reunited again.

 

_\---------------------------------------------_

_SAM: …_

_MARY: Sam?_

_SAM: … gimme a minute…_

_MARY: I didn’t want to upset you!_

_SAM: Not upset mom, just… ok, maybe a bit… well, sad. It hasn’t happened and… at some point, we’ll have to say goodbye from here._

_MARY: I know…_

_CHUCK: You’re a clever one, Mary Winchester_

_MARY: I like to think so._

_CHUCK: This makes all of this so much more difficult._

_SAM: How’s so?_

_CHUCK: Not important…_

_SAM: Are we doing all this for nothing?_

_CHUCK: Of course not, Sam! You have my word!_

_CROWLEY: Pretty sure you can trust that now, can you Moose?_

_GABRIEL: Will you shut up already?_

_CHUCK: Ok, you both! You’re the two last ones! Who wants to go?_

_CROWLEY / GABRIEL: …_

_SAM: I’d rather hear Gabriel’s, frankly…_

_MARY / ELLEN / JO / JODY / JIMMY / CHARLIE: Yeah!_

_CHUCK: Gabriel?_

_GABRIEL: …_

_CHUCK: Ok… Rock-Paper-Scissors it is then._

_\---------------------------------------------_

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing's mine but the story and it's not beta'd either. 
> 
> Wow... that's a negative way of seeing things, ain't it? Let's start over!
> 
>  
> 
> Only the story is mine and I checked it and read it again and again all by myself.
> 
> See...? Much better! (don't tell me otherwise, I'm being positive here!)


End file.
